Things I Learned From The Movies

Inspired by this post by msmariah on her blog A Space Blogyssey, here's my own list of survival tips and life lessons from the movies. Hollywood really can teach you everything you need to know...

Remember cardio... and the double tap

(Zombieland)

No amount of Irish dancing will save you

(Titanic)

Take a cruise on a replica of the Titanic? Sure - there's no way that could go badly wrong...

(Titanic 2)

Always renew your antivirus subscription

(Independence Day)

Don't worry - air travel is really safe nowadays

(Snakes On A Plane)

Carry your umbrella at all times

(The Day After Tomorrow)

...and some fairly strong headache pills

(Scanners)

Your perfect match is out there waiting to be found

(Species)

It's a hard, lonely life being a superhero

(My Super Ex-Girlfriend)

but most of all...

Always be the person at the front of the queue

(The Human Centipede: First Sequence)

Ol' Blue Eyes Is Back

I recently returned from a course where I learnt the Interview Rules of Survival. They're pretty similar to the Zombieland Rules of Survival although apparently the double-tap is frowned upon by most HR departments. On my return to Paddington I came across this space-time anomaly:

I was impressed by the group of excitable orange-suited RailTrack engineers who were making a fuss over Bittern (a sister locomotive to Mallard) on a rare excursion down south.

In other news I'm uploading a sequence from Bast to YouTube that I thought would make a good second trailer, this time with some of the animated content. I'll post a link when it's up and running - check back here or on the Bast website later today.

[produced in Blender]

On The Bleach [Review: Carriers]

Carriers is a low-budget horror movie starring Chris Pine. The world, or at least the USA, is decimated by a killer virus. A small group of survivors, including two siblings with opposite personalities, are carjacking their way across America to a place of childhood significance, relying on a list of self-made rules to avoid infection. However about fifteen minutes in, during an encounter with a mysterious doctor, it becomes clear that this is not simply Zombieland minus the zombies - it's Zombieland re-imagined by Nevil Shute. The list of rules is also much shorter and they mainly involve bleach.

This is also a film that is hard to classify - it's certainly not a feelgood comedy! However while there are moments of action, suspense and horror they take second place to a drama in which desperate choices are made - and there's no guarantee that everything will turn out all right. The acting is therefore crucial and all four leads are good: Lou Taylor Pucci and Chris Pine play off each other well as brothers; Piper Perabo is convincing in her role and Emily VanCamp is slightly scary and perfectly understated. I was also impressed by how little the film relies on overt CGI: apart from a few eyes with infected irises I didn't spot any CGI shots. Of course there could have been any number of covert CGI uses.

Blood Borne

Viruses (virii) get a bad press in science fiction generally. In films such as Virus, Outbreak or Twelve Monkeys they are presented as a threat to the survival of humanity. This reflects the fears associated with historical pandemics such as influenza in 1918, and more recent panics around SARS, avian or swine flu, and BSE.

SARS

Elsewhere, for example in 28 Days Later, Zombieland, the Underworld and Resident Evil series, and the forthcoming Daybreakers they seem to be replacing demonic possession or voodoo curse as the origin of the vampire, zombie, and werewolf. The reason may be that this explains the transmission of the “condition” by contact or bite; also using these explanations brings the monster myths up to date and introduces science or science fiction elements to the plots.

HIV

Occasionally viruses are used in more subtle or original ways: in Alastair Reynold’s novel Chasm City, a virus induces flashbacks from the life of a legendary figure; in the film Code 46 an empathy virus gives an investigator near-psychic powers of interrogation while it appears that other viruses can force code violation criminals to hand themselves over. In Greg Bear’s novel Darwin’s Radio the reactivation of a viral genome hidden in the human genome triggers an evolutionary leap.

Swine flu

In real life viruses may be deadly but also fascinating: they are the simplest lifeforms on the planet, some having as few as seven genes; they may hold the key to curing both viral and non-viral illnesses, in the case of live vaccines from cowpox onwards we are fighting fire with fire. The idea of silent viruses inserted into the genome is also plausible. In science fiction it’s hard to think of positive portrayals of viruses: the only one that springs to mind is the common cold responsible for foiling H.G. Wells’ Martian invaders.

Photographs of Luke Jerram’s Glass Microbiology sculptures are used here with the kind permission of the artist.

Enjoy the little things [Review: Zombieland]

Zombieland is the USA decimated by a zombie virus. It's a road movie featuring Jesse Eisenberg (also seen in The Village), Woody Harrelson (Cheers!), Emma Stone (No. Me neither. But you will) and Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) - playing four orphaned, misfit characters each changed by the plague and their experiences. They meet while travelling across the US to places of some significance to them - after all, what else is there to do? Eisenberg's phobia prone teenager has survived because he's developed his own, highly obsessive rules of survival which recur throughout the film.

There's no gradual revelation - the whole zombie plague scenario is expositionified in the first few seconds, plus some occasional flashbacks to flesh out the characters' backgrounds.

Zombieland is a fast zombie film in both senses - it's a fast-paced film featuring fast zombies. It's also witty, funny and endearing in turns, and if you can put up with a certain amount of ketchup and spaghetti, it's definitely one to watch even if zombies aren't usually your thing as the plot, the dialogue and the characters will win you over quickly. There's also a brilliant cameo by... no, better not say any more. I loved this film and I think it deserves it's many glowing reviews including a rare 89% score on Rotten Tomatoes.

I understand George A. Romero's argument about zombie speed - they have to move slowly otherwise their rotting bones and tendons would break. But from a dramatic standpoint, fast zombies can provide a different kind of action. In Zombieland they're fast but not as superhumanly fast as seen in 28 Days Later. So you might outrun them - if you're lucky, and you've kept up Rule #1 of survival - Cardio. But even then it's not a done deal. This also means that a single fast zombie can be a threat - with slow zombies, since you can outrun them easily the threat only really builds up when they're massed. Of course, if you forget Rule #15 - Know your way out - and you get backed into a corner then the speed of the zombie may be less of an issue.

Zombie films often climax with some kind of siege - and Zombieland doesn't disappoint with it's ending set imaginatively in a theme park. Rule #33 might be, if you find yourself in a theme park during a zombie plague, don't turn on all the lights.