Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Turning Over A New Leaf

This is not an environmentally friendly car.

The beautiful white shell on this Aventador is actually a pure ivory veneer made from the tusks of twelve elephants, each one certified as personally shot by the King of Spain.

Look, there wasn't any parking space outside. I had to leave it here in the lobby.

With expert handling this car will achieve an impressive 0.1 miles per gallon. That's per gallon of champagne. When the tank is running low the on-board satellite navigation computer will guide you to the nearest off-license to fill up.The rainforest mahogany dashboard is perfectly complemented by the tigerskin seats, sewn together in India's finest sweatshops. And each time a child grows up and buys one, a fairy dies.

This AMG-something is also not an environmentally friendly car.

But it's really fast... and it's got wings!

While the evil planet-destroying sports cars were all parked in the lobby, the hybrids or electric cars like this Ampera (European version of the Volt) were outside, hidden away down a side road. This is an environmentally friendly car.

You can tell because it's got crazy headlights. In accordance with EU regulation 224 section 2 paragraph 8c all electric or hybrid vehicles must have crazy headlights by April 2014.

This is an environmentally friendly car.

It's a limited edition Tesla Roadster. It's 100% electric and range is limited however can be extended if you happen to have a central groove and two metal strips along your road. Tesla have not read the memo about crazy headlights.

This is an environmentally friendly car.

The Leaf feels good to test-drive, and handles like a similar-sized family car. It can be charged from your home using a regular extension lead, or from a dedicated charging point, or even from an induction plate. Apparently you can't charge it from the cigarette lighter.

[Pictures: Sci-Fi Gene. Cars: Motor Expo 2012, Canary Wharf. Some of the Aventador features above may not be standard on all, or indeed any models]


JerseyLil said...

At first glance, that white car looked really cool until I read about how all those beautiful elephants were needlessly killed for it, and all the sweatshop labor by children. Yes, each time a child grows up and buys one, a fairy dies, good comment. Too bad they hid away the hybrids and electric cars at the show. I like that Tesla Roadster! The Leaf is interesting too. Nice pictures from the Motor Expo.

Sci-Fi Gene said...

There's no end to the evils of the Aventador JerseyLil. I'm no historian but I'm fairly sure both Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack The Ripper drove one (not together, obviously, Jack had it at weekends). Aventadors are responsible for global warming, global cooling, globalization, globus hystericus, war, pestilence, famine, the inexplicable success of One Dimension in the U.S. and the quality of "factual information" in my article.

Maurice Mitchell said...

Aventador is evil. I hope "Pimp My Ride" never hears about the elephant car. "I know you like Elephants. So we made your car out of elephants so you can pet elephants while you drive."