Goodbye Norma Jean [Doctor Who: The Power Of The Doctor]

So long Thirteenth Doctor. You were fabulous, surfing the crests of your best episodes and rising above the weaker ones. You gave us a Doctor who could think on her feet and who inspired trust in those around her even as she drove them mad. A Doctor who wanted to love and be loved but, in stark contrast to her bravery in battle, was desperately shy and awkward.

Your stories may have varied in their quality but no-one can say they lacked ambition. If you had been Star Trek the new twists shaking up your origin story would have driven canon-obsessed fans to apoplexy. Happily Doctor Who has never had a canon.

Your final episode was worthy of you and worthy of classic Doctor Who, facing down multiple threats with the help of friends past and present, with wit, ingenuity and feeling. If the trend continues then at the very least we will see you at every future regeneration episode…

All The Fun Of The Despair [AI Art Generation]

Working with an art generation AI, at least one that is freely available on Google Play Store but in crippleware form, is strangely like rubbing a lamp and coming face to face with a genie who informs you in booming, mystical voice "You may have five wishes per day. To unlock unlimited wishes, subscribe to Genie Pro. Also some categories of wish may require in-app payments."

The striking and not-at-all-contrived similarites do not end there. As with making wishes for genies, at least in my experience, when making up prompts for art AIs the wording matters - and it's hard to know what words or phrases will make a difference, let alone what will lead to a result close to your actual wish. As with genies, always assume that the art AI wil interpret your wish in the most unhelpful way possible, so try not to give wiggle room. You could of course experiment with hundreds of alternative phrases but then you would need to pay the subscription fees or risk running out of wishes too quickly.

"Artists staring sadly into the abyss"

Sci-Fi Gene (with minor assistance from Wonder AI), 2022

Digital

On the other hand, if you are willing to perservere, then at least sometimes your wishes really can come true. At least if your wishes are to see medieval cities made out of cheese.

"Busy medieval city made of cheese"

Sci-Fi Gene (with minor assistance from Wonder AI), 2022

Digital

I asked Wonder AI to come up with posters for some of my films, using the titles as prompts and the Cinematic AI. The results are... interesting.

"Last Zombie Standing" - does indeed feature one standing zombie and has created a decently creepy atmosphere, or at least has bunged some gaslamps around the place. Other zombies are present but one is sitting on a ledge and one is leaning on a wall so neither are technically standing. Wonder AI has delivered on the brief and I would have been happy to use this poster.

"We Can Get You Some Really Cheap Gear" is not at first glance a film about camera equipment at all - it's a lighthearted (but adult) LEGO-animated comedy about a top-secret experimental drug that allows a failing writer to access 1% of his brain.

But AI is more powerful and more insightful than you might think. Wonder AI has correctly deduced that my film is in fact a sharp and unapologetic satirical deconstruction of the entire film industry, taking particular aim at the two most over-used cinematic techniques of all - foreshadowing and the focus pull. As an auteur it's nice to be understood once in a while.

Meanwhile my over-long title has nothing at all to do with drugs: it's a reference to the regular and highly delusional claim made by Kino London club organizers that they could, through their extensive industry contacts, score cheap equipment for filmmakers. And indeed, were you to take them up on their offer you could well end up with something like the device featured in the poster.

"Steampunk Girl" while I cannot fault Len Peralta's original artwork for John Anealio's song, which appears in the final reveal at the end of my lyric video, this image comes a close second. I was particularly impressed to see that Wonder AI has perfectly captured the steampunk vibe without hypersexualizing the image, and without resorting to the most obvious genre tropes: no brass goggles, and not a single cogwheel. What happened to Steampunk Girl's left arm is a question to be answered in the prequel.

You can watch all three films on my Short Films page here.

Real life sci-fi: portrait of the artist as an AI [AI Art Generation]

 The Sci-Fi Gene occasionally pauses to observe respectfully the evolutionary progress of our future overlords and masters as we approach the inevitable singularity. It seems that, while we were metaphorically sleeping, an Artificial Intelligence-generated image was entered into an art competition in Colorado and won first prize, to the annoyance of some human artists and commentators.

The picture, Théâtre D'opéra Spatial was produced by Jason Allen by sending an unspecified prompt to the art generation AI Midjourney. You can read more about the picture and the online reaction at VICE here.

Personally I'm not sure what the fuss is about. All the AI did was produce a detailed and evocative picture in classical style with powerful composition and lighting, layers of possible meaning and symbolism and an emotional kick. It's not like it taped a banana to a wall or anything.

As far as I can understand, AI artists work by analysing large numbers of images, breaking down the details in the images and deducing rules about the way those details go together, then using those rules to create new images. (Of course this is completely different from art students learning by studying great masterpieces.) A consequence of this process is that it seems to produce Impressionist works. For example here are two responses to my prompt "Renaissance woman with mysterious smile" by the AI Wonder and, for comparison, a little-known work by a human artist on a similar theme.

From a distance, the AI images look convincing enough. It's probably a good idea not to count the fingers too carefully, look too closely into their eyes, or speculate too deeply on exactly what lies behind their expressions. In all three cases perhaps it would be better not to know.

Flower Duet - Open Theremin

 Flower Duet from the opera Lakme by Léo Delibes, played as a double recording on Open Theremin V4. I'm still getting used to the V4 - overall it's a lovely instrument to play but occasionally the pitch field can misbehave, whereas my V3 was always very stable and obedient. Adding a 3D-printed case seems to have helped.

Conspiracies

 Flat Earthers, I'm afraid I don't follow

Your theory is too hard to swallow

It seems clear to me

So why can't you see

The Earth can't be both flat and hollow!

Roland Limmerich III

 Roland Emmerich's new film is called Moonfall

The Moon's going to pay us a close call

But where will it land?

And where should we stand?

I'm steering clear of the White House, y'all.

A typical Emmerich film features

Lots of rockets and heroes and creatures

What drives this mad artist?

In the depths of his heart is

A desire to annoy physics teachers.

Your Message Could Not Be Delivered [Review: You've Got Mail!]

 I have always cited Nora Ephron's You've Got Mail! as being the worst film of all time. But everyone deserves a second chance. I gave it a second viewing to see if I had been too harsh. TLDR: I had not.

I should say that I am quite tolerant of bad films in general. I am a fan of The Asylum's brand of cheap and cheerful mockbusters, and I even sat through most of Shark Exorcist before giving up. My problem with Shark Exorcist was not the poor script, acting, CGI or editing, but the fact that this is a movie about a shark possessed by a demon (which incidentally makes no difference whatsoever to its predator behaviour) and disappointingly not about a shark who is also an exorcist.

Also, despite my love of sci-fi and fantasy I am not opposed to the romantic comedy genre in principle. Brief Encounter, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Four Weddings, Pretty Woman and When Harry Met Sally... are all great films.

So why does You've Got Mail! bring out the same reaction for me as others have described when watching The Human Centipede: First Sequence? Let's consider the evidence:

• Everyone loves a goofy screwball romcom, right? Here's a goofy screwball romcom about a manipulative creep who gaslights a vulnerable adult. Cute!

• There is no character development. Both Kathleen and Joe are exactly the same people at the start and the end. They don't grow. They don't even learn that women can fake orgasms or overcome their fear of heights. Dramatic journey? More like an hour and twenty minutes on a roundabout.

• With one exception, all the cast appear to be half asleep, wandering through the scenes in a daze and delivering their lines on half-speed. Did Ephron have to drug them all to get them to participate? Or are they dosing themselves up to forget?

• With one exception, all the supporting characters are zero-dimensional. Their only point (Ha! Geometry joke!) is to distract from the dopiness of both lead characters.

• Above all else, this is a Nora Ephron film. Nora smegging Ephron! Ephron is a legendary writer and director, responsible for some truly great films, including When Harry Met Sally... one of the most well-loved films ever. Her uncredited work on Shark Exorcist aside, her writing always, always hits the mark - so this film's greatest crime, and greatest disappointment, is that it doesn't live up to the Ephron standard.

I challenged myself to find something positive to say about this terrible film. I found two things:

• It's a highly effective Internet safety video. I'm sure if You've Got Mail! was compulsory viewing at school, the next generation would happily abandon their TikToktagrams and their Snapcords and re-discover the delights of wooden spinning tops and Knock Down Ginger.

• One character in this movie only appears in three scenes but is a delight. She's quick-witted, dynamic, energetic, superficially evil but actually extremely thoughtful. Happily she makes her escape from the manipulative creep, but this means we barely get to know her. Personally I would rather see less of Creepy Joe or MPDG Kathleen and spend the whole hour and twenty minutes in the company of someone who makes coffee nervous.

I cannot give this truly awful piece of cinematic history any more than a mediocre three stars out of five.

Score: Three stars out of five.

All movies reviewed on The Sci-Fi Gene blog are awarded three stars out of five.