Friday, 9 July 2010

The Paul of Cthulhu

The hero of this year's footie World Cup (apart from the inventor of the vuvuzela and his or her long-suffering family) has been Paul the Psychic Octopus. Oberhausen zoo's octopus Paul has now predicted the outcome of every German match, including this week's defeat at the hands of Spain. Paul's prophetic rise began two years ago when he correctly predicted all but one German match result in the European Cup

From his tank headquarters Paul is now considering his forecasts for the final and third-fourth playoff game. However, after predicting defeats for both Argentina and Germany he seems to have acquired a number of enemies and the zoo is receiving daily death threats - mostly in the form of recipes. Do these people not know the danger of taking on any lifeform with this amount of psychic power? Have they not seen Scanners? In addition to his own formidable abilities, Paul is also surrounded by a Cthulhu-esque cabal of followers led by zookeeper and high priest Oliver Walenciak who will no doubt lay down their lives, and perform any number of bizarre human sacrifices, before seeing their demi-god deep-fried.

No doubt having made some quiet appointments with his bookmaker, after the final on Sunday Paul will be retiring to his Beverley Hills mansion tank. The rumour that he is currently dating Miley Cyrus has also not been officially denied.

Sources: Metro, Telegraph, everywhere

[Edit 13.7.10 This post has generated unexpected levels of traffic - if you're new to The Sci-Fi Gene then welcome! Thanks for dropping by - stay for a cup of tea and a comment? In other news Paul the Psychic Octopus has been an inspiration all over the blogosphere, including a thread of limericks on The L Blog. Enjoy your retirement, Paul! ]

9 comments:

C.Bosco said...

I hear that using his ink to write grants the bearer of the pen the power of foresight. ^_^

Lovy Boheme said...

Miley Cyrus and tentacles. My mind just went in a completely awful direction.

Sci-Fi Gene said...

I thought that ink would grant the bearer the power of disappearing very quickly...

Lovy I want to live in your world. Maybe we shouldn't go too far in that direction though, let's just say he's a sucker for a pretty face...

ms said...

Thank you for stopping by,
wished i could offer some apple pie.
your commerick* is really appreciated,
it's very kind and clever- may i added.
it makes my comments slot doesnt look so dry :D

*comment-limerick

Sci-Fi Gene said...

Thank you MsYana my dear,
And it's great that you came over here.
If it isn't too late,
Apple pie would be great,
Accompanied by some nice German beer :)

Dyeve said...

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit if this Paul octopus isn’t one with genetic mutations.. who’s going to shake things up so soon ..until completely will change even what we know ..till now about DNA evolving.. But, I give my 2 cents on her lovely head...

(Don’t know if I where an octopus fortune of Paul species as that of which I ate .. But certainly after this World Cup, octopus will become an attraction for many interesting culinary! Smiles.


Oups, sorry maybe for my bad comment..again. :P

Sci-Fi Gene said...

Dyeve you jammy dodger!

Juliana Matthews said...

I understand that Spain is the world's largest consumer of Octopus or technically Octupi,
hmmm, perhaps the future is not quite so bright for Paul, but then being psychic, he will know the olive oil and lemon juice await!

Sci-Fi Gene said...

Paul will need to keep his wits about him. Hopefully he will know better than to accept the offer of a shiny new circular aquarium with a handle and lovely warm water... It's a trap Paul!