The Paul of Cthulhu

The hero of this year's footie World Cup (apart from the inventor of the vuvuzela and his or her long-suffering family) has been Paul the Psychic Octopus. Oberhausen zoo's octopus Paul has now predicted the outcome of every German match, including this week's defeat at the hands of Spain. Paul's prophetic rise began two years ago when he correctly predicted all but one German match result in the European Cup

From his tank headquarters Paul is now considering his forecasts for the final and third-fourth playoff game. However, after predicting defeats for both Argentina and Germany he seems to have acquired a number of enemies and the zoo is receiving daily death threats - mostly in the form of recipes. Do these people not know the danger of taking on any lifeform with this amount of psychic power? Have they not seen Scanners? In addition to his own formidable abilities, Paul is also surrounded by a Cthulhu-esque cabal of followers led by zookeeper and high priest Oliver Walenciak who will no doubt lay down their lives, and perform any number of bizarre human sacrifices, before seeing their demi-god deep-fried.

No doubt having made some quiet appointments with his bookmaker, after the final on Sunday Paul will be retiring to his Beverley Hills mansion tank. The rumour that he is currently dating Miley Cyrus has also not been officially denied.

Sources: Metro, Telegraph, everywhere

[Edit 13.7.10 This post has generated unexpected levels of traffic - if you're new to The Sci-Fi Gene then welcome! Thanks for dropping by - stay for a cup of tea and a comment? In other news Paul the Psychic Octopus has been an inspiration all over the blogosphere, including a thread of limericks on The L Blog. Enjoy your retirement, Paul! ]